Spectacular Monday

you know what Anna? I AM having fun, thank you very much! But maybe you should try something a little more encouraging when i am obviously not feeling the best...

I have been reading alagna's blog and really missing her. i wish that i was in socal with her. i dont know if that would be fun or stressful. not stressful becuase im with her, just becuase of the being on ur own at such a young age thing. i know that im supposed to be an adult now, but the thought of being 100% financially independent really scares me. And that is exactly what she is doing. so I really look up to her. She was the first one to break out of the house and start a future for herself. she is going through problems that all of my family members have never had to go through becuase they have always shyed away from striving for what they want. I know that even I am guilty of that. But i dont want to be like that anymore. I really need to think about what i want in the first place and that is usually the looming problem. i think i need to just do something rash! go for something and find out if it was right later. i play things too safe. i blame andy...he is my scapegoat.

Tonight is Dylan's 18th b-day. andy gets off work at 7 and we still dont know what to get him. Maybe some gay porn or something...

Yesterday I was with Kayla for the first time in...like 6 years. It was interesting. If you wanna know more about it hit me up on myspace or something. i dont think she would appreciate me talking about her here. yeah...

Andrew hella woke me up. I was taking a nap after classes and recovering from kayla and he called me. might be in town tonight...im not gonna count on it.

So the Phoenix was pretty cool. Not as many people as i expected. But the sound was amazing and I finally got to hear their new Subtones sonya - "alien song". yeah i know great title right? yeah i thought it was gonna be kinda bad just from the sound of it. but it was so FUCKING EPIC!! It was seriously orgasmic. i loved it!
The other bands were pretty cool. they were mostly kids, locals. the place was hella weird. when we first got their, there were hella kids EVERYWHERE. like 14 maybe 15 year old kids. the audience part of it actually had skating half pipe things. so people were skating and there were couches everywhere too. there is alot of grafitti all over the place but i think its expected of you to make ur mark. some it is really professional. like in the back room its hella tight. Then the Hellen Kellers were before the Subtones. they are so cool. The lead giutar/singer (Ryan) broke a string on his guitar on stage so he borrowed Andy's.
I was actually upset with andy for most of the time cuz he was neglecting me a lot and he never even wanted to watch the bands with me. and then everyone was drinking and acting really stupid (liz). it was...interesting. it was the first time i didnt drink out of anger at andy. i usually have some revenge shots when im mad at him. but i just sulked in the back while he neglected me.
But it all worked out later. I think everyone was on andy's case about me and so he eventually talked to me and i told him how i always give him his space at shows but he was being a real jerk. so he apologized and said that he didnt deserve me. since that is a heavy statement i forgave him. and then dennys. and that was that.

oh and liz...yeah so before hand her and nina were mad at the band cuz they werent getting free shirts. they claimed that they deserved free shirts cuz of their support. i was planning on paying for one anyway TO SUPPORT THEM! now thats FUCKING SUPPORT! dumb bitches.
no nina isnt a dumb bitch. i love her.
so anyway. then liz goes on a rant about how she doesnt even like them anyway. she doesnt think they're that good and if she didnt know all of them she would never go to their shows. how hurtful can you be. like i said - a dumb fucking bitch! and every single band that played - they were always like - oh they're not good. oh they are kidna bad.
dude they are kids! cut them some slack adn appreciate the fact that they have the guts to get on stage at the FUCKING PHOENIX and show everyone their musical talent. No one was that bad. i listened to all 5 bands and i wouldnt call any of them bad. some were just more inexperienced then others. but seriously. could you get on stage and play ur heart out to strangers at the phoenix? i dont think so!
So that is my liz rant...but i still love her cus her and nina always go out of their way to save me from missing the shows. so, yet again, i owe her a lot.

So...next show is The Shop. That'll be just a little whatever show. the bands playing with the subotnes are no where near on the same level as the subtones. so yeah. consider them to be the headliners.

what else to say. having a gay ol' time in Napa. Body or Brain plays in Vallejo on Friday. I am going there even if I have to walk!
i like checking out new venues. its almost a hobbie of mine now.

little green observasion of the week. Use a wash cloth in the shower instead of those weird scrubby things (that i have used for most of my life). if you havnt noticed, they are made of plastic. HELLO! no bueno... use a wash cloth and make the earth a better place.

Keep it clean
Keep it green

Namaste

FUCK A DUCK!!

yeah not really. but there are times when u just want to yell that horrible and disturbing phrase! Like right now!
im sure most of you have your pet peeves. Well i do too. One of them is being able to hear being eating all disgusting like. GROSS!!!! I HATE IT!! and its even worse when im mad at the person or if they are like being bitchy to me. it makes me just wanna punch them in the face so that they will stop CHEWING!!
yeah. i think that tim is the worst culprit here. OMG SOO GROSS!!!
on a better note:I have been making a lot of kandi lately. did i say that in the last bloggy thing? i dont know. but i have been making more. i took apart this weird lizzard thing that anna gave me a long time ago with a bunch of random crap and now im using the beads from that. (sorry anna)

another thing...i am currently stranded at home. no way to get to the phoenix tonight...nope... i figure im going to have to call nina so her and liz can save me again. :( i hope theire not getting sick of me...FUCK I HATE THIS!!
andy says that i shoulda planned for this. well andy! considering the fact that im ALWAYS WITH YOU, i thought that i would GO WITH YOU!! but no. theres no room for Sonya. fuck that band!

no... i actually love that band. grrr. mixed feelings...

hmm what else. i just watched the yaya vlog thing. its a good time killer. so is that insane planet green chanel. jesus christ am i addicted to that.

hmmm... tim is yelling at my mom about me. great...
fuck him

Mom to Tim: "we dont take kindly to over-bearing men in this household"
so true....

I guess hes right. Im not very good at contributing to the "household". whatever. i give them money when i can. I make them laugh when they know their life is shit. But i guess thats all im good for.

I dont really feel like saying anything anymore. when you hear someone talking serious shit about you, it hurts. but when you hear them talk shit about you and you know that its true, thats a little different.

the rest of the day will consist of me:
-washing dishes
-washing my pants
-making kandi phone charms for nina and liz
-straightening my hair
-...i dont know...the phoenix i guess.

whats crazy is that The Subtones are last and there are 5 bands total. so basically, im gonna be there from like 7 or 8 till midnight or later. most likely having to entertain liz so she doesnt do anything stupid. yeah i know what ur thinking - shouldnt a concert be entertaining enough? not for liz. shes "special". as in extremely ADD. maybe ill bring all the kandis ive been working on to show them. its kinda like babysitting. you need to bring interesting things in advance so that you'll have something to keep their interest.

well k-la just called so...

Namaste

much lucho grucho tucho shucho....

yeah so....its been a few days. what happened last???
oh yeah!! Last time i had to go to the shop but i was stranded at sonoma state. so nina and liz (and nick)came to my rescue and picked me up from alisa's place and it was all a hugely insane rendezvous. But it only got worse becuase liz is a crazy person which means shes a crazy driver and she was going like 90 and then swerving all over the place while texting and yelling at sheep all at the same time. There is no exageration there. And nick just sang to all the weird songs all screamo like. and liz threatened to suck his dick off.
I am dead to real !!!!

And then we finally got there and it was a really chill place. much more of a band networking thing than a hey invite all ur friends to a concernt...thing. But it was still cool. It is literally a room with really crazy abstract art all over the walls and old couches with a stage in the front. pretty damn awesome.
So all in all, i owe liz and nina a lot and... that was a really weird day.
It was also cool to meet alisa's roomie peeps. They are all very...colleg-y. But in the best way. And they're all pretty innocent, it seems. They (the girls) were all going to a movie night. On a saturday night!! they are silly. But i guess thats a lot healthier than getting fucked up every weekend.

I was recently trying to figure out things that i do to help the environment and i felt as though i am a failure becuase it doesnt seem like that much. But then i realized that there are a lot more little things that i do throughout the average day than i realize. i take the bus to and from school, usually. and that good in the sense that i am taking advantage of the emissions that would be spit into the environment regardless. And then something else i realized today - i only buy the uncomfortable cardboard tampons. I never realized that i do this because you have to throw plastic away and it fills up landfills just like everthing else. but cardboard breaks down. therefore that is the more environmentally friendly choice. so while i could be getting the more comfortable plastic ones, i choose otherwise for the sake of mother earth. and that makes me feel better. of course i could go even farther and get the all natural bla blah super expensive products that u can only get at healthy places. But lets be serious, most of us just dont have that type of money.
This concludes my green segment of the day. Always remember that there are many things that you can do to help the environment. conserve water, conserve energy, buy local/organic. and if you wanna do even better you can always go vegetarian, compost everything, take navy showers, ride a bike everywhere, only shop at 2nd hand shops, and the list goes on. But those are obvious RIGHT?!?! good.
Oh and also!! everyone should congradulate napa on their recycling. For those of you who dont know, the napa recycling accepts all industrial plastics. So there is a place for those old buckets sitting in your backyard to go. this also includes yogurt containers!! that makes me really happy!!

Hmm... not much else. I have a new phone. it was free. its a pink razr. Dont make fun of me. I didnt pick it out. Tim did. Its about 3 times biggere than my beloved microscopic phone.
But I have to say, i love it. then my mom has a blackberry and tim has a thing called "blue ice" it kidna looks gay. but when our phones are all put next to eachother they do look really cool.

well i should go now. have to buy some rave tickets. have to buy a new anthropology book because i ordered the wrong one. and last but not least i need to study for my precal text this coming friday. you will never believe what i am going to make to study. yes anna, you guessed it, those damn math study note card things. i totally forget what they were called. Paisley would kill me.

The Subtones Headlining at the Phoenix this friday!! fuck yeah!!

Namaste

SONOMA!!

yeah so me and alisa have been having a gay old time. yeah her rommeeeeesss are pretty cool actually.. i havnt even met any of the guys but whatever. yeah... good times....

ummmm. i need a shirt. cuz i spent the night at alisas... noo clothesss. and the shop is tonight!!! woohoo. its really difficult to type ... im wearing all of my and alisas kandiiii.

ok so it has taken me forever to type all this. i am way too distracted!

ok so The Shop is tonight. im excited. i think i already said that. ok...

Namaste

NEW AHH

OK SO I DONT HAVE MUCH TIME TO SAY ANYTHING CUZ ALISA IS COMING TO GET ME IN LIKE 10 MINUTES. WE'RE GONG TO A COMEDY SHOWW WOOHOO!! wow i just realized that everything i just typed is in caps becuase i was just staring at the keyboard while i was typing but i dont have time to retype it all cuz i have to pee and i have to get ready to go and that is why this is one long run on sentence. pollack would KILL me!! sorry for typos too. anywho! I am excited for the subtones tomorrow night, and i forgot i still need to respond to nina. I am applying at BCBG. yes i said it. BCBG. i kinda hope i get the job. just so i can say that I work there haha. anyway i am making no sense right now so i will just try to write something interesting tomorrow!!

NAMASTEEEEEE

lamo day...mo

The Pros and Cons for going to a NVC for 2 years and tranfering into a 4-year college:

Pro: You will be in half the debt by only going to a real college for 2 years.

Con: You have to decide your major really early if you wanna make a good ed-plan and get all your undergrad stuff out of the way so that you can make a tranfer aggreement into a good college. (aka stressful)

Con: There are a lot of people you see every day that you dont want to see or talk to. Its like a 24/7 chefs market!!!

Pro: It's close to home and if you're lucky you can stay with your parents for free/cheap.

Con: You'd have to live with your parents.

Con: You are missing out on 2 years of the "dorm life" .

Pro: You are saving a lot of brain cells and liver damage from those 2 years of drinking/drugs during the "dorm life" (and yeah i know that not everyone drinks, but i probably would)

Pro: 2 more years of real food.

Pro: 2 more years of real privacy.

Con: Most of your friends are gone.

Namaste

a night of fun....

not really. well it was ok i suppose. the parts i can remember.
so yeah . we went to westwood hills and as i predicted i got pretty shit-faced, sloshed, hammered. whatever you want to call it - that is what i was. I actually puked!!! i didnt know i was capable! and then evan had to carry me down the hill. I woke up with dirt everywhere and scratches on my back. Apparently I kept falling down the hills and dylan and andy had to chase after me. no bueno.

what else...recording studio yesterday. they are finally done recording!! FINALLY!

They have 2 shows this week so they are hard at work. flyers, shirts, sexual favors. i dont even know.

I am going bra shopping today. i am more excited about that than ANYTHING else. And I have been craving red robin forever. if i am this excited by the this little outing later today, i must be pretty pathetic.
Oh well. cant help the truth.

HAPPY MONDAY!!

Namaste

yeah

So basically, I am home alone and have been all day. Nothing to do but homework so of course I'm going to avoid that shit.

A confession:

I am getting sick of trying to hide how much fun I am not having here in Napa. Last night is a good example. There were endless things to do. But did we do any of them? No. We were in the studio until 11 when we could have been done by 7 or sooner and gone to a show and a party. But no, we sat and talked to Dan the studio man and his lovely wife crystal about weird/funny stories and porn. I know that networking is important and all when your in a band, but this has happened so many times now its starting to take a tole on me. I don't feel like I am living up to the fun i could be having. But, truth be told, I can't stray from Andy and have fun with other friends because they are mostly guys, and we all know what Sonya would do in a situation like that. Absolutely nothing. But god forbid something might happen and our relationship would be ruined. Same goes for raves. You know how many raves I could be going to? a lot. every weekend. But can I do that? Nope. Because something baaaaaaad might happen. So I wanna go to trippendicular. its in OCTOBER. I havnt been to a rave since JULY. Andy knows I want to go. but will he let me? I'm guessing no. This is exactly whats going to happen: I will bring it up every so once in a while and he will make off handed comments about how he doesnt want me to go. then when it will really come down to crunch time, he will make an ultamatum. I swear he is going to that.
Who am I kidding? I love Andy. I shouldnt complain too much, right?
I'm such a fool.

And now I have the wonderful choice of going to a party in weswood hills tonight. Maybe I should just go get drunk in the hills for some artificial happiness. How depressing.


TodayI wantched 2 movies: Stay and Mad Love
They were both pretty cool. Stay is hella post-modern. So much that there isnt really a defined conclusion. I like movies like that. I mostly like them because I know that most people hate them.
People who are not content to live in the dark once in a while need too much reality to be considered interesting in my book. I wonder if anyone else feels that way?
I always do that. Think something which defines me and my conviction and wonder if anyone else is the same. I guess it stems from that innate human desire to fit in with society, right?
I suppose I am feeling open today. or maybe I am just realizing that no one is really reading this so i dont give a fuck how open and honest I am. Everyone needs to spit on their fear of judgemnt once in a while. How will we ever know who we truly are otherwise?

Namaste

Well...

Since the last blog was way too long, I will make this short.

Not too much excitement in recent days. Wounds still healing. back still itching.

Laughing at Liz calling Nina fat. Makes me feel obese. not really

I might be in love with the Nathan from the yayas vlog. Its too bad he's gay...

Hoping to party it up tonight. I have been such a good girl since... June basically. Andrews party was the kicker for sure. Wow that was a long time ago. But schools back in session kids and I'm ready to blow off some serious steam.

Guess how much I got in scholarship money for the semester?

1300 BUCKS! woohoo!!
Yeah and thats just for this semester...pretty cool.

Hung out with jonathan today, i seriously think he is on...something. either that or he has been like eating a lead wall or something. All i know is that he is painful to talk to sometimes. Sooooo Sssllllloooowwwww.... but you gotta luv im

we're going to the studio after andy gets off work at...4:30... and record the back-up vocal tracks. and then they're done!!! FINALLY!!!!
Shows are: next thursday at Bilcos (not much of a show)
the 13th at the Shop is Sonoma (along with the Hellen Kellers, Plan.Mute, and Four Winds)
then 19th at the Phoenix in Petaluma...i think

Tonight Body or Brain is gonna be at the Phoenix and The Hellen Kellers are at Napa City Nights.
Damn, I am soooo on it!
I think we'r gonna see the Hellen Kellers. even though I have never been to the Phoenix before. Oh well....Gotta support the sister band.
If anyone think they are a bigger Subtones fan than me, please let me know.

Because you're sooo not!

Namaste

How often do you have to run from bees?

Ok this blog is dedicated to Alagna cuz I havent talked to her in hella days.

So... this past weekend I went to Tahoe with the Andy's family. We stayed at Fallen Leaf Camping grounds and Fallen leaf Lake was like 100 feet away from us. There was actually a bear sighting right at our site the day before we got there and I was super excited to see a bear. Everyone else was scared...and they thought I was weird. Whatever. On the last night there was one that was crashing a dumpster at the site next to us. Pretty cool. But i never got to see one.

So anyway it was really cool becuase we were surrounded by trees and the air was clear and dry. I got to hug the trees and smell the trees. I knew my jeffreys, ponderosas and sugars.And I even got to sleep in a tent!
The crazy thing though - for some reason, according to the Hansens, camping means sitting around in chairs, reading magazines and newspapers amongst the trees. HELLOOOOOO!!! Can we please go hiking or something!?!?! And then wats up with not making/eating breakfast until like HOURS after everyone wakes up?!? and then skipping Lunch!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!

For a while I thought i was in the twilight zone or something. I thought I was gonna puke! my body was so outta wack.
my usual eating schedule: breakfast 5-15 minutes after i wake up.(anything past an hour slows ur metabolism. same goes for skipping meals.) Lunch. Dinner.

Yes people, I said it. three meals a day. Believe it!

But the first day was cool cuz i got to go on the tram/ gondola thing and that was so awesooome

I went with Andy, Dan and Kaila. They're all afraid of heights so I don't really know if they liked it or not. Kaila was just talking and saying -blah blah blah this is freaky, oh but its fun blah blah blah. You could tell she was scared. Andy and Dan were mostly silent. You could tell they were scared. They all just sat the whole time. I was standing up and walking around, looking at the rocky, tree covered ground as we went up, up, up the mountain. And then there was a Zip-Line once you get to the top. I HELLA wanted to do that. But it was really expensive. Next time...next time. Of course everyone thought I was insane.

Why do people think that the most awesome things are so scary? I just dont get it? Maybe I am a freak. I dont know.
NO! I am not a freak! They're the boring ones! right?
Oh well.
Not only were the meals seamingly scarce, but when there was a meal, it was basically all MEAT! Yup, goodbye vegetarianism. Hello stomach full of questionable meat products. Such as the chicken shaped like animals. How can i trust a piece of chicken shaped like a cow?

The next day it was really windy so we didnt go to the beach. Instead we went to the Tallac Estates. Its basically a huge property full of fancy old cabins that rich people would stay in for the summer way back when. Its pretty ridiculous. The rich people had their cabins. The servants had their own cabins. hell, even the gardeners had their own cabins. The only room I really liked was a small room in the main house and it was dedicated to the Washoo people. It was pretty cool. I knew that they called Tahoe- Da Ow, but I learned that they called the lake Da Ow a ga. And they called the white people who invaded De oh bo...i think. It was actually really sad. Their people went from 3100-500 in 50 years. Horrible.

Ok so I guess it must have been later that day. This was the most excitement I had on the entire trip. Grandpa Ralf told me about a cool bridge that was on a trail down the lake. So me and Andy decided to go there and take pictures. And of course we brought along our handy dandy walking sticks. he named his Shamoo and mine was Lucky. Don't really know why. So we get to the bridge and take some (hopefully good) pictures. The bridge actually goes over a sorta dam that connects the Lake to a little creek. And i wanna walk down the side of the creek. So we leave our walking sticks by the bridge (dont really know why)and we go off trail down the creek and it is really beautiful. I saw a crawdad too! it was huge! And we eventually come across a real dam made of an old giant rotting tree and other pieces of rotting wood. It was getting hot so I took off my sweatshirt and tied it around my waste like a dork. Andy trudges over all of it and goes to the other side. I was having difficulties and I recall him wanting me to go over to him. So here I am struggling to get over all this old wood. I remember there was this one huge ant near me and it was creepy. but I got over it and eventually jumped on the rotten wood before hitting the ground. and thats when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. they were agitated and they were swarming.
I think Andy originally stepped on the nest and by the time I got over there, they were all angry and went after ME! Its too bad we ruined their home though :(
Maybe if we brought Lucky along things would have been different.
I started walking away and thats when I felt stings on my back and buzzing all around me. I guess I started to tell Andy that bees were chasing me. I dont really remember saying that, but Andy does. he even thought I was kidding cuz I guess I sounded really calm or something. So I ripped my sweatshirt off and I started running. I tripped (of course) and fell on my side. I really don't remember much after that. Getting up running some more. I don't remember what the terrain was like or where I was even going. I remember stopping once in a while for Andy to flick the bees off of my back and stomach and being in complete terror.
Once we got back on the trail I was still really shaky and it felt like they were still stinging me. there was blood all over my left hand and I think I remember one of them being on my hand and I had to flick it off. But i'm pretty sure the blood was from falling. There was a big scrape below my elbow on my right arm that was bleeding pretty good too. Random cuts and bruises later appeared on my side and a huge lump still remains above my knee. Its all ugly and bruised up now.
It was funny because on the way back Andy thanked me for not freaking out. But i WAS freaking out. I was still freaked out. That was the scariest experience of my life! We finally got back to the camp and everyone was gone but Cherie and grandma. They were all at the store, so they got me some peroxide and bactine for everything. So we jumped in the rv and I took off my shirt to let the medical fun begin. Dr. Andy helped me dowse myself with peroxide and then smeared baking soda paste all over my back. We later distinguished that they were probably yellow-jackets because you can see a lot of bites/stings for every inflamed blob on my back. Thank god I'm not alergic.
Andy never got stung once.
I tried to take a nap and Andy and Grandpa Ralf went to get my sweatshirt that we had to leave behind. What they said was pretty suprising when they came back. I guess is was over a good mile where ever we were and the ground was really difficult to walk on. It was also a pretty good incline and there were trees everywhere. I honestly don't remember any of that. I don't even really remember running that much becuase I usually remember how irritating it is feeling my boobs bounce. I think that I have inherited whatever that is that my mom has. Blocking/stopping memory during tramatic experiences. Evolutionary defense mechanism? Maybe.
Moral of the story: respect nature and always be aware of your surroundings.

Maybe mother nature was getting back at me for putting plastic in the fire.

Lucky and Shamoo were never found.

All things considered, it was a pretty fun trip.

So there you have it kids. My very first camping experience.

Namaste